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Ask the experts: How can I develop a more positive mindset?

After the year we’ve had, it’s understandable that positivity isn’t flowing as freely as it perhaps once was. With Christmas coming up and skepticism glooming potential plans, some of us are feeling low-toned. While a positive mindset won’t solve all your problems, there was still directions we can pick ourselves up and feel right about what’s to come.

Here, hypnotherapist Howard Cooper shares his advice with us on development of a more positive mindset, being present and letting move of the need for everything to be perfect.

I know Christmas won’t be the same this year and it’s really getting me down, how can I let go of my expectations and experience the holiday season?

Back in November 2019 how did you feel about 2020? Positive, right? Would like to have a fresh New Year. What did that positive feeling actually tell you? Did it actually tell you anything about how 2020 was actually going to pan out? No! Perhaps those feelings that’ Christmas will be a let down’ aren’t too solely accurate.

Imagining your ideology joyou interval, focusing on the past and whatever it is you adored most about it before, and then ruminating over all the reasons it can’t be like that this year, is a sure-fire way to set yourself up for disappointment. Essentially, what you’re doing is getting caught up in a mental narrative of what isn’t happening.Instead, try to experience what is going on right now. Live in the moment. What if the best present to give yourself this Christmas is the gift of’ being present’?

I’m detect it hard to focus on the positives right now, do you have any practises or suggestions that could help?

Stop and close your eyes and say to yourself,” I “re going to have to” tighten right now “. Notice how that feels. Now repeat this same exercise but this time say to yourself,” I’d like to relax “. Notice significant differences. Which of these experiences helped you to relax more? The second one, right?

The ” “re going to have to”” and the “right now”, likely felt like a involve you were placing on yourself, which usually initiates much more tension in their own bodies( moving it much less likely for relaxation to occur ). So what if you stopped demanding that you must focus on positives right now?

Perhaps letting circulate of the need to be positive right now is the thing that’s getting in your behavior. Instead explore the idea that even if they are” you’d like to feel positive” you don’t have to be.

Man with eyes closed

I deter get sucked into watching the news and falling into negative judgment spirals, how can I stop?

If my six-year-old son walked into my bedroom and said, “Daddy, Daddy, there’s a monster under my bunked! ”, how reassuring would it be if I replied to him, “There’s no monster, but what it is you do, don’t look at it”? Clearly telling him not to look at it would actually give the demon greater credibility( I’d be discussing it like it really was a threat ).

Remember, it’s not the news that compels you tension, but the replies to it. Solely, it’s you imagining worst case scenarios development and then getting too absorbed into those thoughts.

So negative thinking doesn’t have to stop us being glad. The trouble is thinking negatively and then forgetting you’re’ just thinking ‘. Practising musing and paying attention to “thinking” can help you realise that considers’ in and of themselves’ do not pose any menace to you.

I know I need is consistent with varying my mindset and “ve ever heard” good things about hypnotherapy, can you tell me more about how it helps?

Have you ever had the experience where someone takes a blackboard and scrapings their fingernails down it so that it reaches that clang? In fact, even merely predicting that convict probably gave you a real squirmy feeling inside!

But what was that squirmy response in relation to? It can’t have been from a scratching voice as it wasn’t really happening. Instead, all that happened was that, when you read the convict, at some stage you imagined the blackboard and fingernails interacting and became so absorbed in this thought that you is in response to it as though it were real.

That is hypnosis- resource compiled so striking you have a real response to it. Now what if you could learn to exploit that dominance, so you could get so good at imagining success, delight and positivity that your mas responds to those instead?

My friend has been feeling very low recently, how can I assists them feel most optimistic?

“Be there for them! ” You may have heard this advice being discussed around but what does that actually mean?

Let them know you are there to support them. Let them know they can speak to you without judgement. Stay away from platitudes like, “just take some penetrating breaths”, “just think positive”, or “try to distract yourself”. This advice often miscarries and can originate them feel like you don’t understand them or its own experience.

You can also suggest that they search professional promotion if it goes on for a while( or their feelings become intrusive to the ongoing quality of “peoples lives” ). And eventually, there’s a lot of pressure in today’s society to be perfect so why not share your own feelings and vulnerabilities with them so that they know no one is perfect? Lead by your non-perfect example.

Top tips for remaining positive:

1. Let become of requests. Is there a universal law that says all people have to be positive? No! However, putting a lot of pressure on yourself to always tested positive, ironically establishes more strain. Instead, accept that feelings and envisages come and go without trying to control them. Practising this mindset will lead to much more internal peace.

2. The past doesn’t equal the future. Often thoughts of past failures colour one’s perceptions of how we speculate our future will progress. But don’t fall for this illusion. Seeing mental images that we label “the past” as’ fleeting erects in our psyche’ cures liberate you from this trick.

3. Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to climb Mount Everest, solve’ world peace’ or be productive all the time. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission for regular mental downtime.

Howard Cooperis one of Britain’s preceding’ Rapid Change’ experts. A qualified hypnotherapist and Master Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming( NLP ), he specialises in helping people create rapid switchings in their thinking.

This article was originally published in Happiful Magazine( December 2020 ). You can order print reproduces online, or speak the e-magazine for free on the Happiful app.

Read more: hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk